What Was Missed
by MoonRose91
Summary: The missing moments in Chapter 10 of 'Cupid Has Nothing on You', because it interfered with the flow of the story. Coulson needs to heal after suffering from Roswell. Luckily, Hawkeye is there for him. Slash, Hawkeye/Coulson
1. Mother Henning

**A/N:** This takes place during Coulson's healing, aka, Chapter Ten of _Cupid Has Nothing on You_. I skip over a lot of time because it wasn't needed for the story. However, I also realized that I didn't get to really go into what the challenge that inspired that was about.

**Warnings: **Slash, male/male relationship, and everything that is involved in a relationship. If that makes you uncomfortable, stop reading.

**Challenge: **_Coulson gets turned on by watching Clint work._

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter One: Mother Henning…Kind-of**

Natasha had come to check up on Coulson, only to find Hawkeye half curled around a sleeping Coulson, his calloused fingers running over the agent's scalp. "You know, that is weird to see," she commented softly, taking up the seat Hawkeye had vacated.

Hawkeye gave a tiny shrug with one of his shoulders. Natasha listened to Coulson's soft, if slightly pained, breathing, and the quiet beeping of a heart monitor. The quietness that seemed to surrounded Hawkeye was so out of place and that unsettled Natasha. "Hawkeye, are you going to be okay?" she asked softly.

"Eventually," he answered, continuing to massage Coulson's scalp.

Natasha watched calmly, slowly become entranced by the moment. Hawkeye glanced up and shifted his head to the side curiously. The Black Widow leaned back slightly and shook her head. "I forgot how gentle you can be," she explained.

He snorted a bit and settled back more into the hospital bed. Hawkeye focused back on Coulson. "Shouldn't you be telling the rest of the team about how Coulson will live?" he inquired quietly.

"Yeah. I also need to tell you that the doctors expect Roswell to be recovered enough for a trial in about a month, on the outside. Mind you, they consider him being able to remain conscious for a day to be recovered enough. It was a clean shot though, so it might even take less time," Natasha responded calmly.

Hawkeye grunted in response and sighed. "He won't be able to confront Roswell if he can't walk on his own," Hawkeye answered softly, now investigating Coulson's hair.

Natasha didn't know how to respond to that. She had never seen Hawkeye the way he was right now. She had seen him flirting, sweet, caring, but never…so obviously relieved that someone he loved was alive, if not fully healthy. "How are the others?" Hawkeye asked.

"Good. Thor is still in pretty bad shape, but it would have been worse if Loki hadn't been there. The Trickster cut cables and ran off before the medics turned up. Tony's being a pain and whining about the injuries he sustained. He had been caught outside of his suit. Steve has a broken arm, but with his healing rate he'll be healed before Roswell is put before the board. I only have a couple of bruised ribs," she reported.

Hawkeye nodded. "How's your head injury?" Natasha asked.

"Well. There isn't much of an injury. The CAT scan didn't show anything wrong," he answered, before he looked up at Natasha. "I'll see you tomorrow?" he inquired.

She smiled and stood up. "Of course. Maybe Coulson will be awake. He needs to be debriefed," she answered with a tiny smirk and Hawkeye chuckled lowly. "Oh, he's going to hate us by the time he's fully healed," he murmured.

Natasha let out a little laugh and sashayed out. Hawkeye shook his head at the exit and focused entirely back down on the sleeping Coulson. Yes, he looked pained, but otherwise…Hawkeye enjoyed moments when Coulson was asleep and he wasn't. Hawkeye continued to massage Coulson's scalp, before he too began to feel tired. He rubbed his head, a headache building a bit, before he carefully got off the bed. He pulled up another chair and settled on Coulson's right side.

The steady beeping eased Hawkeye into a restful sleep.

* * *

><p>When Natasha went the next day to debrief Coulson, she was surprised to see Coulson buttoning up a dress shirt single-handedly. "He's being stubborn," Hawkeye supplied from where he was standing next to the bed, holding the IV bag.<p>

The left sleeve of the dress shirt had been rolled up to prevent it from interfering with the IV. The IV bag had been pulled through, obviously, and Hawkeye shook his head a bit as Coulson reached for his suit-jacket.

"I noticed. Well, since he's up and about, I'm going to need to debrief him," Natasha answered.

"You don't have the clearance," Coulson shot back as he pulled his right arm through the arm of his jacket.

"But I do," Fury's voice cut through and all three turned to the door to stare at the director.

"Director Fury," Coulson greeted, shifting as if to stand.

"Sit down Agent Coulson. Agent Romanov, Agent Barton, you are excused," Fury responded and Hawkeye gave a smile before hanging the IV back up on the stand.

"I have to practice," Hawkeye stated and gave Coulson's uninjured shoulder a gentle squeeze before he left.

Fury watched them leave and shook his head at the fact Coulson was still trying to dress. "Start from when Roswell joined up till you confronted him," Fury ordered.

"The first time or the second time?" Coulson asked.

"Depends on if you want to press charges or not. As it is, he's already being held on defecting and suspicion of terrorism, and that's just from S.W.O.R.D. He's being charged by S.H.I.E.L.D. for the abuse and demoralization of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, but if the agent doesn't come forth, those charges will have to be dropped," Fury answered.

"Well, it's a pity he completely screwed over more then one person," Coulson commented.

Fury glared. "I was talking about _you_, Phil," he responded and Coulson gave a shrug with his uninjured shoulder.

The one-eyed director glared and then sat back slightly. "Start with what happened over the course of this mission," Fury demanded.

Coulson looked up from where he had gotten on his jacket on and nodded once. With efficiency that Fury found annoying and relieving, Coulson began to relate what had happened over the course of Roswell being on this mission.

Fury began to write a report. He rarely did, but considering the man he sent to debrief everyone, normally, was sitting there and in need of debriefing, he could handle the 'demotion' for awhile.

Besides, no one else was willing to do it outside of the Avengers and Coulson wouldn't have told them anything.

* * *

><p>Fury finished up the report and focused on Coulson, who stared back. "It is the decision of Director Fury, after hearing about what occurred during the mission, that Agent Coulson is to go to a mandatory psychiatric sessions, twice a week," Fury finalized and the agent seemed to actually consider glaring.<p>

"Very well Director Fury," he consented.

"Hawkeye's been riding you to get counseling sessions too?" Fury commented and the way Coulson seemed to glare told Fury that was so.

"We're moving to one of our bases in a warmer climate," Fury continued.

Coulson glanced away from him. "It's in Malibu, isn't it?' he asked eventually.

"I thought you'd enjoy Stark's hospitality again," Fury answered.

Coulson sighed softly. "How is this supposed to help my mental health you're so concerned about?" he asked.

"Don't question your boss," Fury responded.

Coulson gave a look before he nodded. "Besides, it's only until Roswell is before the board. We'll have S.H.I.E.L.D.'s councilor heading out twice a week. Stark has a soundproof room that is not bugged," Fury explained and Coulson just nodded.

Fury stood up and nodded. "I'll see you in Malibu, Agent Coulson. And I'll tell Hawkeye he can come in now," he stated and opened the door.

"We're done," Fury told the nonchalant Hawkeye before he walked off.

Hawkeye watched Director Fury walk away and then he headed in to see Coulson sitting there, glaring at the wall. "Phil?" Hawkeye called softly.

"It is in Director Fury's strong opinion that I receive psychiatric sessions twice a week…while we all recover in Malibu at Stark's mansion," Coulson repeated in a very calm voice.

Hawkeye sighed and then gently sat next to him. "All right then," Hawkeye murmured and gave Coulson a gentle kiss.

"You're going to have to deal with my nightmares," Coulson warned.

"I'll live."

Coulson just sighed and carefully used Hawkeye as a support.


	2. Malibu and Session

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Two: Malibu and Session**

Coulson stared at the room he had been designated to him by Pepper. Tony hadn't really thought about it, so Pepper had. Coulson carefully settled his suitcase at the foot of his bed, happy to have the IV out of his wrist. "Hey, Phil, I have one request," Tony called from the doorway and Coulson turned, ready to do battle.

"Yes, Stark?" he inquired.

"Don't bang the bed too much when you and Hawkeye go at it," he requested with a cheeky grin.

"And here I thought I was going to have to request that with you, only with your nightly conquests," Coulson responded.

Tony grinned and walked off. Coulson followed with a small scowl, moving to watch him walk away. "_I_ don't bang beds. I make fireworks," Tony responded over his shoulder.

"Only in your dreams," Coulson answered in a dry voice.

"I'd hate to know how you know that," Hawkeye stated and Coulson jumped slightly before he turned to face Hawkeye.

He then just gave a smile and walked into the room. "Please do _not_ tell me you're one of Tony's conquests!" Hawkeye shouted and down the hall, Stark snickered.

Coulson was rather enjoying tormenting Hawkeye. Just a bit.

* * *

><p>Hawkeye let an arrow fly across the water and sink into the bull's-eye of the target bobbing on the water. He shifted his foot back and aimed at another that had the glare of the water against it. The arrow cut through the air and then sunk into the target, though Hawkeye was having trouble seeing if he hit the bull's-eye or not.<p>

He shifted his attention and hit a button for an air target and he shot. The arrow flew and buried itself into the bull's eye. He shifted his position and had another air target come across. Hawkeye shifted his weight completely and fired it off again. This time he heard a soft, strangled, sound.

Hawkeye turned and saw Coulson standing there, obviously watching him work. His eyebrow rose slightly and then he scowled. "I'm still mad at you from this morning," Hawkeye stated.

"I…I can live with that," Coulson responded, though he sounded a bit strained from something that was _not_ pain.

Hawkeye looked at him curiously and aimed for a land target that was within sight of Coulson. He pulled back and hid a grin at the fact Coulson was so affected by it. He fired an arrow and it sunk into the target.

He had been thankful to Tony for setting it up for him, though it was probably the closest he'd ever get to an apology from the man. Especially for the teasing he got this morning from the two of them.

He was even more thankful now.

"Phil, how long have you been watching me?" Hawkeye asked, slowly walking up to the other man.

Coulson, who had been leaning against a wall, stood up. "Barton," he warned a little.

"Do you want me to stop?" Hawkeye asked, stilling about two feet from Coulson.

"Stop what?" Coulson answered.

"Practicing," Hakweye responded.

"No."

Hawkeye grinned and pulled out an arrow deliberately slowly. He knocked it on his bow, not stopping the grin on his face from the way Coulson was partially glaring, partially not. Hawkeye really hadn't seen that look on Coulson's face before.

"Agent Coulson?" JARVIS greeted.

Coulson groaned. "Yes JARVIS?" he responded.

"Dr. Amelia Ikol is here," the computer explained.

He nodded slightly. "Can you ask her to wait please? I'll be there soon," Coulson answered and slowly stood up, away from the wall.

Coulson walked off and Hawkeye watched him go.

Was it just him, or was Coulson…turned on?

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry I didn't give more warning, but Fury told me the first time should be a surprise," Dr. Amelia Ikol explained.<p>

Her black hair was pulled into a sharp bun and her eyes were a calculating green. "And Dr. Amelia Ikol isn't the name of any psychiatrist on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s registry Loki," Coulson answered.

The woman huffed and slowly shifted into a male wearing green with black hair and the same green eyes. "How do you always know?" Loki asked.

"This time it was the name. Ikol is the mirror version of Loki," Coulson answered.

Loki nodded and stood up, holding himself similarly to Coulson. In control and, even with injuries, a force to be reckoned with. The pair didn't really stare each other down more as just look at each other. "Sorry to have pulled you away from alone time with your boyfriend," Loki apologized.

"Sorry to have pulled you away from a prank on someone here," Coulson responded in turn.

Loki just gave a tiny smile. "Well, if that's the case, can you give me an alibi?" Loki asked.

"No," Coulson responded.

Loki sighed. "I must be getting rusty. I used to be able to get alibis with a simple asking," he muttered.

"I won't give you an alibi. But, I would give Dr. Amelia Ikol an alibi," Coulson stated and Loki grinned.

* * *

><p>Chaos reigned in the house while Coulson worked on reports in the room reserved for his session. When it was over, Loki reappeared in the room. "Well, I'm off. The real one is Dr. Harris Jordon," Loki explained with a grin.<p>

"They'll find out in a moment," Coulson answered with no indication if cared about this news or not.

Loki shifted and nodded. "See ya. Oh…someone would be along to open the door soon," he added and disappeared.

Coulson snorted and hid the file back away. He leaned back and the sound of feet running. Hawkeye threw open the door and let out a relieved sigh.

He looked untouched.

"Loki locked me out of the house," Hawkeye explained.

"He locked me in this room," Coulson responded.

Hawkeye let out a sigh and walked over to Coulson. "So, about when I was practicing," Hawkeye began.

Coulson couldn't stop the light blush that crept up onto his face.


	3. The First Real Session

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Three: The First Real Session**

After the fiasco with Loki, Fury personally escorted Dr. Harris Jordon to Malibu. He sighed. "Do I want to know how Loki got past JARVIS?" Fury asked, while Coulson stared at the psychiatrist who had been there since the first time Roswell had ripped Coulson's world to shreds.

"Magic, not technology," Coulson supplied, and Hawkeye stood next to Coulson, his hand resting on the small of Coulson's back. The agent didn't shrug it off, but he didn't lean into it.

He relaxed from the warmth and comfort that was there. "Agent Phil Coulson, it is good to see you've taken me up on my offer," Dr. Jordon stated.

"I am doing this because I was ordered," Coulson corrected.

Hawkeye blinked and looked between the two. "What offer?" Hawkeye asked.

"Dr. Jordon discovered the situation I had with Roswell the first time and offered to give me counseling. I declined and he left the offer on the table. I didn't tell you because I was being stubborn," Coulson answered easily.

Hawkeye gave a sigh and glared at Coulson. "You know, I'm starting to get a little irritated with the things you forget to mention," he commented.

"I don't. Besides, at the time, you were lucky I was telling you as much as I did," Coulson responded.

Dr. Jordon looked between the two, obviously happy. "Well, enough chatter. I'm told there is a room for us to have our sessions in," Dr. Jordon cut in.

"Oh, yes. We'll take you there," Hawkeye answered.

"You can lead him there perfectly well on your own," Coulson argued.

"Oh, no I can't. You're getting help, even if I have to carry you and lock you in that room!" Hawkeye answered and immediately began to force Coulson toward the room for his session.

Coulson was _not_ pleased.

* * *

><p>Dr. Jordon sat down across from Coulson. As Hawkeye had promised, he had locked Coulson in the room. For the next two hours, they were going to be locked in this room. "Well, since you don't want to talk about Roswell, tell me how your relationship with Hawkeye is going," Dr. Jordon pressed.<p>

Coulson didn't answer.

He always was so stubborn.

Dr. Jordon sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Coulson, you need to tell _someone_ about the past you had with Roswell," he pressed.

"I have," Coulson responded in an irritable fashion.

"Who?" Dr. Jordon pressed.

"I told Hawkeye about it. Actually, I told him the cliff-notes version because, at the time, they were in close quarters and I didn't want to be the one to have to testify that my boyfriend had killed another agent, even if it was in a different organization," Coulson responded.

Dr. Jordon blinked a bit and he glanced down a bit. "You must love him, or at least trust him inexplicably," the psychiatrist commented.

Coulson didn't answer. "Or you were trying to drive him away and it didn't work," he added.

In all fairness, he hadn't expected Coulson to move so quickly, or to pin him so efficiently when he was only able to use one arm. "Do _not_ assume my motives behind why I told Hawkeye. I told him because I trusted him to keep that secret, if you must know. And it took him about two years to get that trust," he warned, before he released Dr. Jordon.

He then sat back down and he stared at a spot over Dr. Jordon's head. "Coulson, you need to talk about this. The mission, and when you were being used by Roswell," Dr. Jordon pressed.

"You don't have my trust," Coulson responded.

"How do I get it?" Dr. Jordon questioned.

Coulson gave a one-shouldered shrug. Dr. Jordon sighed and tapped his pencil against the pad in his lap. "Coulson, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"How much Tony Stark annoys me," Coulson answered without a beat.

Dr. Jordon let out a disbelieving snort. "If he really annoyed you, you would have sent the guy to the infirmary by now," Dr. Jordon corrected.

"No, I wouldn't have," Coulson muttered.

"You used to," Dr. Jordon retorted softly.

"Before or after Roswell?" Coulson asked in a way that suggested 'before.'

Dr. Jordon flinched a bit and the pair fell into silence.

* * *

><p>Dr. Jordon walked out, followed closely by Coulson. The second did not look happy and he stalked off. Hawkeye didn't even hesitate, he just went after the other man, while Fury stood up. "Dr. Banner will be joining you guys in about two days," he finished up and walked out with the psychiatrist.<p>

They were well on their way before Dr. Jordon spoke. "He doesn't trust me," he stated.

"If I thought he trusted you, you wouldn't have been picked," Fury responded.

Dr. Jordon glared and he glanced out the window. "His trusts Hawkeye though. He pinned me to the chair when I made an idle comment about Hawkeye," he added and Fury shook his head a bit.

"You have to try harder Dr. Jordon. We can't press charges till Coulson, in harsh terms, gets over it," Fury stated and the psychiatrist's nose scrunched up in displeasure.

"I hate this smash and grab manner you seem to treat everything Fury," he complained.

"Get used to it. I just hope getting Coulson to open up doesn't smash the relationship he has with Hawkeye. That archer has increased Coulson's efficiency rating, when relationships usually hinder them. Hawkeye's efficiency has also increased and both can keep their head in the mission and worry about each other when the danger is passed. As it is, I am overstepping my bounds with Coulson. He's a private person and he hates being forced into anything," Fury demanded.

Dr. Jordon just gave a tiny nod and stared out the window.

Sometimes he wondered why he worked for S.H.I.E.L.D.

* * *

><p>Hawkeye followed quickly after Coulson, who seemed bound and determined to get away from people. Hawkeye gritted his teeth and quickly cut the man off. "Barton, move," Coulson growled in a voice that suggested now was not the time for a heart-to-heart.<p>

Hawkeye stepped out of the way and Coulson wavered. He usually did whenever he was given a way out by Hawkeye. The archer shifted a bit and then carefully reached out, placing his hand on Coulson's right shoulder. "Want to walk with me, Phil?" he asked softly.

Coulson looked up, seeming tired and angry, but he nodded. Hawkeye gave a smile and the pair walked off. Coulson was in the lead, but not as furious in his movements.


	4. Firelight, Coffee, and Dancing

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Four: Firelight, Coffee, and Dancing**

Coulson was still in a sour mood when the house became cold. He was sitting in the room where the fireplace was almost always going, the wide windows staring out at the sea. While beautiful, it was also letting the cold in, partially. He was obviously feeling the chill and Hawkeye gently dropped a blanket over him before he held out a steaming coffee mug to Coulson. "Penny for your thoughts?" Hawkeye asked.

Coulson rolled his eyes slightly. "They aren't worth that much," he responded.

"They are worth that and more to me," Hawkeye flirted shamelessly.

Tony walked in, effectively breaking the romantic mood their pair had. Hawkeye glared at Stark while Coulson stared at the fire. "So, how _was_ the Land of Enchantment?" Tony asked suddenly.

"That was some time ago," Coulson responded.

"Yeah, but we never get to talk. It is very saddening," Tony said, with a mock sad face.

He let out a whine like an injured dog when Pepper came up, smacking him hard upside the head with a rolled up newspaper. "Leave Agent Coulson alone or do I have to sic Natasha on you? You _know_ she's got a soft spot for the agent," Pepper warned.

Coulson, however, glanced up at that while Hawkeye carefully rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. Hawkeye shifted his weight slightly as Tony made a snort sound. "Please, she wouldn't do anything to me," he stated, over-confident as always.

Hawkeye shook his head. "Stark, don't push Natasha's buttons. She can take out a hallways of men without breaking a sweat and look dead sexy doing it," the archer warned.

"A whole building if she's got a couple of agents to pick off the ones she can't get to fast enough," Coulson added in.

"When did she work with a couple of people?" Hawkeye asked.

"Madripoor?" Coulson offered and Hawkeye nodded. "I forgot about that," he murmured.

"All of us involved wished we could. Fodder of nightmares," Coulson stated, inspecting his coffee mug.

"What's Madripoor?" Tony asked.

Coulson glared. "Classified and a fodder of nightmares," Coulson answered in a warning tone.

Pepper smacked Stark upside the head with a newspaper again, distracting him for now. Hawkeye settled next to Coulson and he reached under the blanket before he gently placed his hand on Coulson's thigh. Coulson gave the man a small glare before focusing on the other pair of lovebirds standing there.

Pepper and Tony had dissolved into an argument. Coulson let out a tired sigh and shifted a bit, as if to get up. He managed not to make a sound when Hawkeye carefully pulled away. He held his hands out to the man and bounced a bit on the balls of his feet. Coulson rolled his eyes and carefully took one of his hands.

Hawkeye made sure the blanket stayed on Coulson's shoulders, before carefully leading the man out. Eventually, Coulson found he was thankful for the blanket, since Hawkeye had taken him to his shooting range. "If this is to watch you practice, I will find a newspaper to smack you on the nose with," Coulson warned.

Hawkeye chuckled. "No," he reassured and stepped right into Coulson's personal bubble.

"Hawkeye, what are you planning?" Coulson asked.

Hawkeye smiled and carefully wrapped his arms around Coulson. He let out a sound of protest, and Hawkeye backed off slightly. "Don't you want to dance Coulson?" he asked softly.

"There is no music," Coulson commented, as if trying to come up with an excuse.

"There's music in the bedroom," Hawkeye answered.

"Then why did you lead me out here?" the man demanded.

Hawkeye pointed over Coulson's shoulder. The man turned around in Hawkeye's arms, only to see a rather interesting sight. Across the water, clear of any obstruction, were the stars that glittered met with their reflection on the ocean.

Hawkeye began to sway to the soft sound of the ocean and he smiled. "Stop swaying, you're making me sea-sick," Coulson muttered.

Hawkeye chuckled and contorted himself around to give Coulson a gentle kiss. He smiled into the kiss as Coulson kissed him back, reaching up to wrap his fingers in Hawkeye's hair. Coulson turned back around to do so and Hawkeye responded by carefully cradling Coulson's face.

The pair stood kissing for a long time, before they had to part for air. Hawkeye gently placed his forehead against Coulson's. He smiled a bit and leaned in for another kiss. Coulson met him half-way and they were soon engaged in another lengthy kiss.

It probably would have taken just as long the second time, if Coulson hadn't pulled back. "I hate kissing in public," he commented. Hawkeye blinked, letting Coulson pull back. He looked thoughtful before he asked, "My room or yours?"

Coulson gave a small smile. "Yours is closer," he answered.

Hawkeye wasted no time in hurrying them both to his room.

It wasn't often he got to kiss Phil Coulson and he was going to enjoy every minute of it he could.


	5. Looks and Another Session

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Five: Looks and Another Session**

When Hawkeye woke up the next morning, Coulson was fiddling with his brace. "Stop that," Hawkeye muttered, gently grabbing Coulson's hand to pull it away from the brace.

The agent huffed and stopped pulling at the brace. "I hate these things," he muttered.

"Then stop dislocating your shoulder," Hawkeye retorted, slowly shifting over to rest his head on Coulson's uninjured shoulder. Coulson gave a soft sigh and focused back on the brace, as if debating about ripping it off or not.

A knock on the door made them both look up. "Hawkeye, are you up?" came Steve's voice.

"Yes," Hawkeye responded.

"Have you seen Agent Coulson? Dr. Jordon has returned and JARVIS is not telling us where he is," the super-soldier explained.

Coulson let out a low groan and carefully fell over on his uninjured side into the pillow. "I'll get him," Hawkeye called back and began to carefully rub Coulson's back. The desk-agent ignored him and refused to move.

"You have to go, you know," Hawkeye pushed, resisting the urge to smack Coulson upside the head.

Coulson shook his head. "No," he answered, voice muffled.

Hawkeye let out a soft sigh and went to the closet, grabbing a spare suit for Coulson. "You either get dressed or I dump you in there with your boxer shorts on," Hawkeye warned.

Coulson glared at him. "You wouldn't dare," he growled.

Hawkeye would not think about how sexy that was right now. "Yes, I would," he answered.

Coulson sighed and carefully sat up before he got ready. He took over the bathroom and Hawkeye listened to the shower run for about five minutes. Silence reigned for the next fifteen and when Coulson walked back out, he was half-dressed. His undershirt and dress shirt, along with his brace, was being held at his uninjured side. The severely bruised shoulder made Hawkeye flinch and he stood up.

He then helped Coulson with putting the padding and brace into place. "How do you do this every morning without help?" Hawkeye asked.

"Very slowly," Coulson answered dryly as Hawkeye aided in getting his undershirt on. The agent was soon dressed in his usual impeccable style.

"See you in two hours," he greeted and left, walking past a surprised Steve. Coulson ignored him and shifted so he would head toward something _other_ then the room he needed to be in.

"No chance in hell," Hawkeye stated and carefully guided him away.

Steve was left still in shock.

* * *

><p>Dr. Jordon rubbed his forehead. "Coulson, you can't spend your <em>entire time<em> in silence with me!" he protested.

"Fine. What do you want me to talk about?" Coulson responded, sounding calm and collected.

"About anything," the psychiatrist explained.

Coulson looked thoughtful. "Fury knew something was up and didn't do anything at the time. For that I am grateful, because it gave me a chance to be part of S.H.I.E.L.D. I hate people meddling in my life because it reminds me too much of how Roswell controlled every aspect of it, though exceptions are made. I don't mind Hawkeye meddling, because he's already proven that he's not doing it to be controlling, but he is trying to help. I don't mind Fury meddling because he's the director and I can understand him not wanting to lose someone to a psychological breakdown," he began to talk, and then focused his gaze on Dr. Jordon.

"I _do not_ like anyone else meddling. That includes you," Coulson finished and turned away, face carefully schooled into a mask of calmness.

Dr. Jordon sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Very well. How would you feel about Hawkeye joining us in our next session?" Dr. Jordon asked.

Coulson immediately riveted to him. "What?"

"Having Agent Barton joining us. It is not conductive if you don't trust me. I am hoping having someone you trust, who can't _order_ you to answer questions, might be more productive to your healing," Dr. Jordon responded.

Coulson pulled a face and stood, leaving the room. Dr. Jordon didn't point out they had half an hour left. He also figured that JARVIS had unlocked the door for Coulson so he would have a way out, or Hawkeye had unlocked it after an hour.

Either way, Dr. Jordon let him go.

* * *

><p>Natasha placed a plate of bacon and eggs before Coulson when he sat down, followed by a mug of coffee. "Hawkeye is at the range," she offered and Coulson nodded his thanks, before eating.<p>

He didn't really register the looks everyone was sending him for awhile. It wasn't until Natasha gave him another serving that he noticed they were staring at him. Well, Tony was really staring at his braced arm, while the others were just staring at him. Thor seemed to be trying to put puzzle pieces together, Steve looked a bit…like he was trying to think of _anything_ but that, and Bruce looked rather accepting, if puzzled.

Coulson looked at their guests, Jane and Darcy, before he looked back at Natasha. "Let me guess, it is now known I spent the night in Hawkeye's room and everyone thinks we slept together?" he asked Black Widow who nodded as Coulson finished off his coffee.

She poured him another mug and smiled. "That would be so," she answered cheerfully.

Coulson sighed. "I cannot have sex while my shoulder is braced without fear of it getting further dislocated and possibly having to get surgery for the fact it might actually _break_ under the strain," he answered and Natasha's smile fell.

Tony eyed the brace. "Well, you haven't _tried_, maybe…" he pressed, only to be cut off by Natasha throwing her high heeled shoe at him.

He dodged easily and Coulson's voice, cold and harsh, answered, "I have 'tried.' My shoulder was so severely injured from that time that it took four months for it to heal. I was lucky it wasn't longer."

The cheerful mood vanished and Natasha had readied her shoe to beat Tony with it while Coulson stood up. He put his things in the sink, one handed, and walked away. Tony _didn't_ dodge the smack Natasha gave him with the shoe.

"You bastard! We don't _ever_ talk about Coulson's sex life, beyond hinting at things!" she hissed and stormed out.

* * *

><p>Hawkeye looked over when Coulson came out. "Shouldn't you be in a session?" he asked, slowly pulling back. He turned to face Coulson, whose eyes were closed.<p>

"I walked out on it," Coulson answered and Hawkeye sighed.

"Why?"

"Because I was feeling trapped."

Hawkeye inclined his head slightly and stepped up next to Coulson. "What else?" Hawkeye asked softly.

Coulson shrugged with one of his shoulders. Hawkeye gently bumped his bow against the uninjured side and smiled over the look Coulson got before he opened his eyes to give Hawkeye a weak glare. "Please tell me," he pleaded and Coulson huffed.

"They thought we had sex last night. I told them I don't have sex with a shoulder brace because the strain nearly caused me to have surgery last time. You can guess when the last time was," Coulson answered quietly.

Hawkeye winced and carefully hugged Coulson. "Yeah, well, he won't ever do that again," he stated, before he gently bumped his nose against Coulson's forehead.

"Want to watch me practice?" Hawkeye asked with a grin.

Coulson let out a good-natured groan, but the fact he moved to settle in one of the lawn chairs was answer enough. It wasn't till the end did Hawkeye agree to sit in on the next session.


	6. Secrets Discovered

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Six: Secrets Discovered**

Coulson was reading.

For Tony, that was an odd sight to see if only because Coulson had a pair of reading glasses. He had _never_ seen the man in reading glasses before.

However, that hadn't been why he had hunted out the agent. "Phil?" he called from the doorway to the sitting room and Coulson pulled off his reading glasses, closing the book without even glancing.

"What Stark?" he questioned.

Tony walked in and sat down across from Coulson, who just stared at the man. It seemed the desk agent was not going to press for any answer. "How long have you and Hawkeye been dating?" Tony inquired.

"For some time," Coulson answered and pulled his reading glasses back on.

Tony huffed. "Why not me?" he whined and Coulson actually _kicked_ him!

He hit the ground and rubbed his arm. Coulson gave his version of a grin and continued to read the book he was focused on. Tony huffed and brushed himself off before he turned around…right into Hawkeye. "What the hell?" he exclaimed.

"Leave Phil alone Tony," Hawkeye warned and there was a snort from behind Tony.

The billionaire genius stepped around Hawkeye and left. Pepper met up with him and glowered. "Do I have to sic Natasha on you? I'm sure she'll be glad to know how you're bugging Coulson _and_ Hawkeye," she threatened and Tony whined a bit, looking like a smacked puppy.

* * *

><p>Hawkeye settled on Coulson's uninjured side and somehow managed to cuddle with Coulson without injuring him further. "Still reading <em>Moby Dick<em>?" Hawkeye asked.

"No. _Tale of Two Cities_," Coulson responded.

Hawkeye stared. "How do you read so fast?" he asked.

"I picked it up over the years of reading reports and being able to memorize them fully," Coulson answered, gently bumping Hawkeye's shin with his foot.

Hawkeye carefully bumped Coulson's shin in response.

* * *

><p>Steve Rogers was reading a report. He had been taken off the 'backbench roster' with Iron Man and Hulk. Natasha was taking care of an outside of the Avengers mission. Thor was still out of commission and Hawkeye refused to leave Coulson. Not to mention Coulson was out of it with his shoulder busted.<p>

Steve sighed and shook his head a bit.

He would not question his teammates, but he would not understand the choice. He looked up when he saw Jane and Darcy walk in. Jane looked tired, but she had been staying by Thor's side while he healed, though he was healing much faster then Coulson was healing. "Hey Cap!" Darcy greeted cheerfully and he greeted the two women warmly.

"Hey, do you think he knows?" Darcy asked Jane suddenly.

"Darcy, it's none of our business! You shouldn't even know!" Jane snapped and shoved her assistant out of the kitchen.

And Steve Rogers's curiosity was peaked.

* * *

><p>Fury stared at the report he had from the first two sessions of Coulson's. He resisted the urge to order the man to comply, but he knew he was pushing it as it was. Coulson may have a lot of respect for him, but that wouldn't stop the agent with the injured shoulder from showing him <em>exactly<em> how displeased he was with the interference in his life.

The one-eyed man glanced up when he heard a video-call come in and he turned around, focusing on the screen. He accepted the call once he saw it was from the Avengers and he opened up the video portion as well.

"Captain America," he greeted.

"Director Fury," the man answered.

Respectful as always.

He wanted something.

"What do you want Captain?" Fury asked.

He glanced over his shoulder and then back at the screen. "Is there anything I should know about Coulson?" he asked and Fury resisted the urge the narrow his eye at the man.

Fury wasn't blind. He knew how Coulson was often treated by people who _should_ respect him at all times, but few actually had _time_ to learn about the man behind the regulations. The one who just stood there and made sure the rules were at least partially followed. Who stormed in with combat boots and made himself the object of hate and rage, taking the brunt of it, so a cover-story would hold water.

"Why don't you ask Agent Coulson yourself?" Fury responded.

Captain America shook his head. "I don't think he likes me very much," the man answered.

Fury shook his head. "There are few people Coulson dislikes. I assure you, you aren't one of them," he answered.

The 'for now', he feels, doesn't need to be said. And he doesn't warn Captain America about how Coulson is a private person and probably won't answer the question the way he wants to hear it answered.

However, Fury also has a feeling that a _lot_ of people are going to know about the Roswell incidents after this moment.

The call ended shortly there after and Fury turned back to reports. He couldn't wait for Coulson to get back on duty.

The man was irreplaceable at deciphering Stark's mumbo-jumbo.

* * *

><p>Fury was right, as he usually was. It didn't take long for someone to figure out about the incidents between Coulson and Roswell. Particularly if that person was a genius, too curious for his own good, and his caretaker had gone out to lunch.<p>

It didn't hurt that he also had a super-intelligent A.I. to help him.

"I don't think Agent Coulson will think highly of you prying into his private life, sir," JARVIS warned.

Stark gave a little snort. "Phil will forgive me…eventually," he answered, working along cheerfully.

He had locked himself up in his basement and was enjoying himself greatly. His joy diminished as he learned _exactly_ what he had uncovered. Tony frowned as he worked his way through, pausing at certain points, going back at others. Most of the stuff was recent, but Tony knew the signs of abuse.

You know, going through them and all.

His dad had been such a bastard to him, but…he never really was _terrified_ of his dad.

Coulson had been _terrified_ of Roswell.

He noticed the reports of his injuries were higher thirty years ago, give or take, then they were over the years since, until Roswell returned. It didn't take a genius to put _that _one together, but he leaned forward.

"Sir, Agent Coulson is approaching," JARVIS warned.

"Delete history," he answered and stood up, hiding away the evidence of his wrong-doings.

Stark just wasn't sure how to deal with Coulson now.

The agent easily walked in, once he gained clearance, and immediately hid. "Fury is trying to contact me. I'm not here," he explained.

Stark nodded and glanced down. "Are you sure you're not hiding from Hawkeye?" the billionaire asked.

Coulson glared and Stark backed off, working on something that would keep him from doing what he was _supposed_ to be doing. "Isn't Pepper going to kill you if you skip out on work again?" Coulson asked.

"Isn't Hawkeye going to kill you if you skip out on session?" Tony responded easily.

Coulson gave a tiny grin. "Not kill me, but he would be a tad upset," the man answered.

Tony Stark settled into his usual banter with the agent.

Yeah, this he could handle. He _never_ discovered the other stuff.

Except it sat in the back of his head.


	7. To the Trial

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Seven: To the Trial**

Steve Rogers couldn't figure out what it was that had required Coulson needing sessions with the psychiatrist. When Hawkeye joined, his curiosity began to work on overdrive. He knew that Hawkeye didn't need to go or that information would have found his way to him as well. And whatever was wrong with Couson, both Dr. Foster and Miss Lewis knew.

While it was not one of his more favorable traits, Steve Rogers had always been much too curious for his own good. As such, his curiosity often warred with his upbringing, along with his sense of honor. In this case, however, he felt he would need to know if it would ever come up in a fight.

He waited until a day after the session before he went to go find Coulson.

Steve Rogers was _not_ looking forward to that conversation.

* * *

><p>Coulson was in the study, perusing reports from the Siberia incident. "Agent Coulson?" Steve Rogers called from the entryway and he turned to look at the man out of his time.<p>

"Yes Captain?" he responded, settling so he gave the blonde his full attention.

He seemed uncomfortable, though Coulson chalked it up to the fact that Captain America never seemed sure how to approach him. The agent leaned back slightly and the stronger man sighed. "I was wondering if you would tell me why you need the sessions. I know it is none of my business, however, as the leader I need to know. You are one of the team," he explained and Coulson felt his lips thinning against his wishes.

It was bad enough that Dr. Foster and Miss Lewis had, somehow, found out. However, it probably had been while he was out and, most likely, only minor details had been given. Considering they could look him in the face, he figured they only knew that Roswell had been abusive, but not the extent.

He let out a low sigh through his nose. "Fury has ordered I attend sessions before I am put on active duty once more," he explained.

Steve Rogers nodded, though Coulson doubted this was going to be the last he heard of it, however.

* * *

><p>Coulson was right.<p>

Steve Rogers wanted to know more. He wanted more answers then Coulson really wanted to give and had taken to spending most, if not all, of his time around Hawkeye. It kept Steve from directly approaching them.

In the meantime, Coulson found having Hawkeye attend the sessions helped. He didn't feel as trapped, or threatened, when someone he trusted was right there. It didn't make it easier to _talk_ about what had happened. It was just nice to know he would have to retell it to him.

He hadn't talked about much when he contacted Fury, privately. The minute the connection was made, Coulson stated, "I want to press charges of abuse and demoralization against S.W.O.R.D. Agent Roswell," he stated and he was pretty sure Fury smiled at that.

"You still have to go to sessions, but I'll put you onto part-time duty till your shoulder is healed," Fury responded.

"You can't decipher Stark's mumbo-jumbo?" Coulson asked.

Fury shook his head. "Not one iota," he answered and Coulson shook his head.

"You have a week till the trial," Fury warned and the connection cut out.

Warm arms wrapped around Coulson gently and he felt a familiar kiss planted at his jawbone. "Hawkeye," he greeted and the archer focused on trying to give Coulson as many kisses as he could before the man pushed him off, considering they were somewhere public.

Hawkeye stopped, however, when he felt Coulson shift uncomfortably. "Why do you hate getting kissed in public, anyway?" he asked, letting Coulson leave his embrace.

He rolled his shoulder, moving to get files that were waiting for him. "It always felt like I was being claimed, like an object. Now, it's more like a phantom feeling, like amputees with their limbs," he answered in an emotionless voice before he left the room.

Hawkeye made a face. "I swear I'm going to find a way to torment that thing," he growled and followed after Coulson once he had calmed down.

It wasn't hard to find Coulson, poring over reports in Hawkeye's room, where he had all but moved in. The agent explained that it was easier to dress and get the brace on in the mornings with help, though Hawkeye suspected it was because of the nightmares. Coulson had started to make odd sounds of dread that only Hawkeye's voice seemed to stop, as cheesy as that sounded.

Hawkeye suspected that he gravitated to Hawkeye because Coulson felt safe there. It made him feel trusted and loved, which helped Hawkeye not feel unloved since Coulson was not exactly the most emotional person out there.

Hawkeye picked up his archery equipment and looked at Coulson, who was staring at him. "Want to come watch me practice?" Hawkeye asked.

Coulson hesitated, torn between work and wanting to watch Hawkeye work.

Hawkeye sometimes wondered why the man watched him practice if it just made Coulson need a cold shower afterwards. He wasn't going to do anything until out of the brace and Phil sighed. "If I must," he said in a dry voice.

Hawkeye chuckled and Coulson followed out.

* * *

><p>The day Coulson confronted Roswell, Hawkeye was standing outside the door, waiting for him. He went in, his back straight and tall. The minute he came out, the door shut behind him, Hawkeye was there to catch him as his knees gave out.<p>

"I _never_ want to do that again," Coulson muttered as Hawkeye carefully helped him to stand under his own power.

"Do you have another sadistic ex?" Hawkeye asked.

"No."

"Then you don't have to do this again."

Coulson let out a low snort and Hawkeye just carefully pulled Coulson into a hug. They stood there for awhile before Coulson pulled away carefully to walk off. Hawkeye just shook his head and followed after Coulson, easily catching up.


	8. Nightmares Come

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Eight: Nightmares Come**

Coulson balked at the idea of the MRI. He actually, physically, balked. Hawkeye thought it was funny, considering the man was practically fearless. "It is not that bad, Phil, promise," he reassured the man.

They needed to check the muscle, to make sure it was healing right, and they were going to be doing both a dyed and un-dyed scan. Hawkeye wasn't sure what exactly it was called, he just knew the thing looked like an MRI machine. Hawkeye looked at Coulson, who looked shaken.

"Wasn't it bad enough me going to that trial?" he muttered and Hawkeye shook his head.

He sighed and went to go get the needed thing done. Hawkeye waited calmly and when Coulson was all dressed again, he saw the doctor. "The brace will be off in a couple of weeks. The healing is going rather well and the rest you were ordered has actually helped it heal faster," the doctor stated, and then glanced up at Coulson.

"Unlike last time. What was it, six months?" he asked and Coulson's lips thinned.

He was released and he told Hawkeye the good news. However, it would take three weeks before Coulson opened up in his counseling sessions, and only then because of the fact he felt _safe_ with Hawkeye.

The entire sordid thing with Roswell, and the extent of the abuse he got when Roswell came _back_ into his life, was revealed. Coulson obviously had been hesitant to talk at all and had started at the beginning, working through _years_ of abuse and fear. He just talked and didn't stop, but he had done so in a detached fashion.

It was the only way he could deal with it.

* * *

><p>Coulson didn't remember much about the nightmare. It seemed to be a combination of Madripoor and Roswell from what he <em>could<em> remember. He _does_ remember how he woke up however.

At first he was panicked because he was pinned. He tried to dislodge the weight, thinking that the nightmare was real and everything else was a dream. A very pleasant dream to remove him from the situation, only to hear Hawkeye's voice cut through, soft and soothing, right at his ear.

He slowly calmed and found Hawkeye had pinned him with the focus usually reserved for his archery. He had settled on Coulson in a way that prevented him from being dislodge, along with pinning him in a way that kept Coulson from severely injuring his shoulder and undoing all the healing that had been done.

Coulson panted softly and Hawkeye slowly got off of him. "Sorry to wake you," Coulson stated and Hawkeye shook his head.

"Nothing to be sorry for. It was a nightmare. Besides, I was awake," he responded, before he picked back up his book.

It wasn't a 'brainy book', as he teasingly called Coulson's classics, but a book on archery. Coulson spent his time before attempting to sleep slowing his breathing, reminding himself that it was just a dream, and watching Hawkeye read.

Unlike with Coulson, Hawkeye didn't care if anyone watched him while he read. Well, so far as Coulson could tell, but only he had ever really caught Coulson reading something outside of reports.

Eventually, he fell back asleep. Hawkeye, once he was sure that Coulson was asleep, settled the book in his drawer and fell back. Phil was going to be _pissed_ when he found out Hawkeye lied about being awake.

However, that was better then him feeling guilty when it wasn't something he could help. Hawkeye settled back and carefully settled next to Coulson before drifting back off.

* * *

><p>The second night was worse, if possible.<p>

Coulson didn't wake up and Hawkeye was actually partially terrified he was going to _have_ to let the man injure himself further. He couldn't pin Coulson this time, if only because the sheer panic rushing through Coulson and obvious in his open, if not awake, eyes.

"Phil, you have _got_ to calm down. You're going to hurt yourself," he explained softly, thankful Coulson wasn't screaming, if only because it would embarrass him later.

Personally, Hawkeye wished he would. The pained whimper sounds were so out of character for the usually extremely sturdy agent that it unnerved Hawkeye more then screams would.

Of course, that might change if he ever _heard_ a scream.

When Coulson's eyes closed and he stopped freaking out, Hawkeye relaxed. Yeah, touching someone in the throws of a nightmare was not a good idea, but he was injured. Hawkeye _really_ wanted that shoulder to heal without a hitch so there would be no need for a surgical correction.

* * *

><p>Hawkeye never mentioned the nightmares, but he privately monitored the different types of nightmares Coulson had. He also measured out which ones would be okay to talk after and which ones that Hawkeye could approach him with.<p>

It took the time for Coulson to heal before Hawkeye figured out which ones he could talk with Coulson _about_ the nightmares after.

The best chance he had was after one of Coulson's jerk awake, look around, and then fall back. There were no lingering aftershocks of the nightmares and the ones where he…whimpered, for lack of a better word, were the ones that Hawkeye just had to hope Coulson didn't try to break his bones over.

Those were the worst.

Hawkeye tried not to think about those nights, if only because they disturbed him on so many levels.

However, after three straight nights of those, with Hawkeye just trying to keep Coulson from _hitting_ him, he finally got a good night.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked sleepily, not bothering to hide the fact he was tired.

At this point he didn't have the energy. Hawkeye didn't really feel guilty about being truthful, even if it might effect Coulson negatively.

"Did I wake you up?" Coulson asked, ignoring Hawkeye's question.

"Nope. Want to talk about your nightmares?" Hawkeye pushed.

Coulson gave a look and shook his head. He had yet to be put back on full-duty, so he wasn't getting as many files. Fury hoped to have him back next week. Hawkeye carefully leaned over, avoiding Coulson's still sore shoulder. He rested there, relaxing against Coulson.

The agent glanced down slightly and sighed. "It was about Maridpoor. And I can't really talk about that because it is classified," he answered.

Hakweye smiled a bit and went back to using Coulson as a pillow. "Good night," Hawkeye murmured and cuddled closer, wrapping his leg around Coulson's legs. He slowly, and carefully, wrapped himself around Coulson.

"You are such an octopus," Coulson muttered softly, pulling out his book, _A Study in Scarlet_, situating himself so he could read around Hawkeye.

"Yes, yes I am," Hawkeye responded proudly and slowly drifted off.

It soon became normal for them to talk about Coulson's nightmares, if he remembered them.

There was a lot less of Hawkeye being attacked, which he was very thankful for.

Coulson still had nightmares, but sometimes they'd take the night off.

When Coulson was declared perfectly able to perform all his duties, Hawkeye was more then happy to work on that.


	9. Back to Siberia

**What Was Missed**

**Chapter Nine: Back to Siberia**

Coulson was fully healed, much to Hawkeye's joy. He showed that joy in a very adult manner, multiple times. It also marked Coulson returning to full duty and his sessions with the psychiatrist being limited to when he had time and Coulson looked like he had every intention of insuring he _never_ had the time to go see the psychiatrist, as Coulson just seemed to dislike the man and, even if Hawkeye asked nicely, Coulson refused to tell him about it.

He flat out refused and if Hawkeye pushed after the third refusal, he had to deal with a pissed Coulson who barely held himself in check.

He stopped asking why after the fifth time Coulson got pissed at him.

That didn't stop him wanting to know, Hawkeye just decided to let it go and proved, through various things that were 'small and insignificant', that yes, Hawkeye did in fact love the impossible Coulson.

Because Coulson _was_ impossible, but Hawkeye really wouldn't have it any other way. And it really sucked that Coulson couldn't say those three little words though.

* * *

><p>Coulson sighed softly when he received the news. "I know how it was lost, Director Fury. I…removed it, as the communications were down," he explained and Furry nodded.<p>

"It probably slid under a desk," he added.

Fury rubbed his eye a bit. "That means Lowe and Rush were on clean-up," Fury growled in annoyance and focused on Coulson. "You know what this means," he stated.

"I'll get the Avengers ready to return to Siberia, as well as myself," Coulson answered and Fury nodded.

Coulson left, every inch the agent that Fury felt deserved more then to be a glorified babysitter. However, he was the only one who could handle the Avengers. And it wasn't entirely Fury's decision, either.

There were those above him 'smarter then him' who made a few executive decisions he didn't always agree with. Well, he could always get around those.

Which was the _only_ reason Coulson and Hawkeye hadn't been forcibly separated by a few homophobes above him.

* * *

><p>"We're going <em>back<em>?" Tony Stark whined.

Coulson stared at him. "We are returning to Siberia as there is suspicion of someone stealing one of our communicators and using it to spy on our communications. Until the new communicators are requisitioned, we have to create a crash and seem to be investigating it, with the Avengers as guards. We are going to be sending out false reports and then calling you guys off, mostly. We'll be stationed at a movable S.H.I.E.L.D. base that is north of the stationary base," Coulson reported, Hawkeye wincing sympathetically.

Poor Coulson was going to freeze.

"When do we leave?" Hawkeye asked.

"Today," Coulson answered and the Avengers immediately moved to pack.

"Someone make sure Mr. Stark isn't late," he added and Captain America saluted before he followed after the genius billionaire.

Coulson then turned and packed up his warmest clothes. He _hated_ Siberia.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Well, that's done. Stay tuned for the sequel, Confession of Love.


End file.
